Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Jen - The Sequel

So, apparently my mom cyber-stalks me and reads my blogs (just kidding ma, that's what they are there for). She saw my recent post about my cousin, Jen, and decided to foward the link to her brother/Jen's Dad/my uncle, Jim. After reading it, he wrote me an email. As you will see below, he told me at the end of the email that I could MyFaceTwitterBlogBook it if I wanted, so here you go:


That tore me up... but I needed it.

I still don't understand the need to "bare all" in social networking. Do we need others to "feel us" that closely? Do we want them to? Does it strengthen or weaken our scociety? Does it advance the "Jerry Springer" effect which is quite simply human voyerism taken to the Nth degree?

I started a Facebook page once... lasted about two weeks before I realized I didn't really have time or the desire to hear about a "friend's" 10 favorite movies or wines... I will discuss that with a real friend over a beer and burrito.

Does validation from others help validate ourselves?

But I digress...

That being said, your mom sent me the link of what you wrote and I'm glad she did. That was obviously from the heart and although I don't wish anyone undue pain, I am glad to see that I am not the only one (I knew it though) that feels the way you do about Jen.

I think about her every day.

Recently, a young man that used to work for me took his own life. I won't go into the details, but he had a super bright future and was probably in the top two most intelligent people I had ever met. I went to his parents house and sat with them for a few hours and shared with them the story of Jennifer. I wanted to share with them my experiences and maybe help them with what to expect from friends and family in the near future. I wanted to share with them what I had experienced over the last eight years. In doing that, I connected with Jen like never before... can't even begin to explain it.

I told them how in the beginning, my thoughts of her would make me cry. I would be helping a customer at work and out of no where, it would hit me and I would have to excuse myself and go find a private place to cry. When I use to smoke (never in the house), I would stand outside of my garage and stare at the stars, think of her and cry. I think she told me to stop doing that and that is probably why I quit smoking 7 years ago. Anyway, at some time (I don't know when), thinking of her would make me smile and I started looking forward to my daily thoughts of Jen. I showed them pictures of her and they couldn't get over how beautiful she was. I kept thinking to myself that this was supposed to be about Chad but they kept talking about Jen.

She affects people long after she is gone... that means something.

Whole point of this is... thank you for sharing. Thank you for loving.

You can MyFaceTwitterBlogBook this if you want.

With love,

Unk Jim

To which I responded, "I think that's why I do it." because I received messages from friends who have been through something similar and thanked me for sharing my experience. We are not as unique and alone as we sometimes feel.

In other interesting news, a couple of nights after my visit from Jen, I also recieved a visit from my Papa. I think those two are up to something up there. I'm glad they have each other there even though we miss them mucho down here.

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