The Importance of Clean Eating

NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT!!



me and my food baby

As I mentioned in my last post, I started getting my nutrition back on track in January.  I was still drinking occasionally and would indulge in sweets here or there, but once I started Crossfit on March 1st, I cut that stuff out completely...

Until last night...

Last night I met a friend for dinner at a local Mexican food restaurant and indulged in some steak nachos.  I barely put a dent in them before I was stuffed.  Afterward we headed over to a gelato shop and I had the smallest serving of strawberry gelato.  Actually I had half of their smallest serving because I got half lemon and half strawberry and the lemon was so tart I couldn't even eat it.  By the time I got home an hour later, I was in a lot of pain.

The above picture is probably the most legit food baby I have ever had.  I think the dress contributes to it a little, but it stands up next to most of the baby bump pics I have seen others post.  It definitely reinforced my commitment to eating clean, and for that, I am thankful.

Some that have seen this picture told me to post it on Instagram or FB, but I am way too worried about the karma that comes along with something like that.  Hence the sentence before the picture.  What I do know is that the food I ate wasn't worth the consequences to my body.

Back on the wagon I go...

And The Award Goes To...

Me!!!

The Liebster award is given to an up and coming blogger who has less than 200 followers.

-RULES-

1. Post 11 random things about yourself.

2. Answer the questions that the nominator sets for you.

3. Create 11 questions for the people you nominate.

4. Nominate blogs that you love (also with less than 200 followers) & Link them to your post and let them know they have been nominated

This sexy lady nominated me!!

Meet Ashley from Oh Me!  Isn't she gorgeous??  Ashley was the very first blogger that I made a real-life connection with.  We started emailing back and forth and then eventually it morphed to texting.  She lives in Kentucky, so unfortunately we haven't met yet, but I hope that will be possible someday.  She and her handsome hubby are expecting their first baby this summer and I am so excited for them!!  Boy or girl, that kid is going to be decked out in Kentucky blue from day one!  Go Cats!

Alright, let's get down to business, shall we?

11 Random Facts

1. I talk to myself a lot.  Out loud.  Mostly when I am really excited about something.
2. I only shave once a week.  You read that correctly, once a week.  No matter the season.  My hair is really fine and blonde, so you can't really tell when it's been a few days.  In the summer it shimmers in the sunlight and I look like a Twilight vampire.  Saturdays are typically shaving days.
3. I'm one of those people that knows the words to basically every song.  I had a boot camp instructor that would just laugh at me because I would be singing to every song during our workouts, no matter what genre was playing.
4. I wear retainers at night.  Every.Single.Night.  I didn't suffer a second round of braces in my adult years for nothing.  I'm gonna keep these puppies as straight as I can for as long as possible.
5. I'm not really an animal person.  I grew up with dogs and cats, but none of them were ever really "mine".  I had a cat for a year or two, but I moved in with a friend that had a baby and I was worried the cat might hurt the baby (the cat was a b-i-t-c-h) so I gave her to my grandma.  She still has her.
6. I have texture issues with food.  Eggs, jello, sushi rolls without something crunchy in it, etc. all make me gaggy.  I can get through so many bites of scrambled eggs and then all of the sudden it's like someone turned my gag reflex on high.  That's when I give the rest to JB.
7. I have a hard time eating foods that aren't categorized in that specific meal time; breakfast for dinner, lunch for breakfast, etc.  My husband can eat whatever, whenever and thinks I'm weird because I don't like to switch it up every once in a while.  To him, food is food.
8. I love "me" time, but never really get it anymore.  JB is home all.the.time. and usually before I get there, so I never have time to decompress when I get home.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have married him if I didn't like spending so much time with him, but I cherich his monthly guy nights because I come home to a quiet house and do/watch whatever I want.
9. I can sleep FOREVER.  I can go to bed at 11pm and sleep until 10am.  If I don't have an external force waking me up, I will waste half the day in bed.  I don't think it's normal.
10. I would love to be a housewife, but it's hard to justify without the kids.  Nothing makes me happier than a clean house, a great workout, and trying new recipes.  I needs more time to devote to those things and the only way that's going to happen is if I stop working....
11. I want to plan another wedding, like, right now.  Most of my friends hated the wedding planning process.  I thought it was so much fun!  I love details and budgeting and seeing the vision come together.

Now, onto Ashley's questions for me!

 1) What is your favorite place you have ever traveled to?

I think this depends a lot on who you travel with.  I have been so many places with some great people, but I think my favorite place has to be Rome.  I loved the history there and the food was amazing!!

2) Where do you most want to travel to?

Well, right now all I can think about is Greece, but I would love to visit the French Riviera someday.  Also the Virgin Islands.

3) What TV show do you never miss?

Take your pick!  Right now I am on a major Happy Endings kick, but I have seen every episode of Grey's Anatomy and am re-watching One Tree Hill from the beginning.  I'm currently through season 3.

4) What is your favorite food?

Mexican food is by far my favorite.  Tacos, burritos, nachos, chimichangas, flautas, you name it.  I don't eat it too often since it's not the most healthy, but it's definitely my favorite.

5) Is there anything that you DO NOT leave the house without?

My phone, duh.  And now my iPad mini.

6) Who is someone you can always count on?

I can MOSTLY count on my husband.  But I can ALWAYS count on myself :)

7) Do you have any New Years Resolutions?

I never really make resolutions because I feel like if you want to make a change, you shouldn't wait for a new year to do it.  And making a resolution can just be a way to set yourself up to fail and disappoint yourself.  I will just always try to be a better me than I was yesterday and realize that I'm human and I make mistakes.  Live it, learn from it, and move forward.

8) Do you paint your fingernails? If so, what is your favorite color?

I rarely get mani/pedis but my go to color is almost always PINK!

9) What is your favorite holiday?

I think I have to go with 4th of July on this one.  I love the summer and being by the water (pool/lake/ocean) and BBQing, so I love the 4th.  It's also the only holiday that I don't have more than one obligation to tend to.

10) Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging as a way to keep family and friends that are not on FB updated on my life and to also have a place to look back on my different life stages and memories.

11) What is your favorite childhood memory?

Summer vacations were always my favorite.  I got to spend time at my grandparents or aunt's house with my cousins.  I also got to spend more than just a weekend at my dad's house.

And now for my 11 questions for the nominees...

1. What is your day job?

2. Have you ever met up with any other bloggers? If so, how was it?

3. How many countries have you been to?

4. What is your dream job?

5. What is your biggest fear?

6. Are you an electronic calendar or an old school hard planner type of person?

7. Favorite thing to do to waste time?

8. Who was the first person you loved?

9. You're having a burger for dinner - what's on it?

10. Are you a Rule follower or a rule breaker?
11. Where is your favorite place in the world?

And the nominees are...

Katie - Will Work 4 Baby

Ashley - A Mess of Beautiful Chaos

Kristin - My Mission Impossible

Monica - The Painted Pisces

I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller...

I wish I was a baller...

Oh wait, one time I pretended I was.  Hubs and I were clowning around at the gym during our warm up for our workout and I tried my hand and dunking on an 8 ft rim.  Hilarity ensued.



That hubs of mine is so encouraging.  I had to give it another shot...or two.



That should keep you laughing through the rest of your Monday.  You're welcome.  Back soon with a Honilla wedding recap fo dat ass!

You're Afraid of THAT??

Yesterday I read an article on my local news page that just up the freeway from my house, a small plane had to make an emergency landing ON THE FREEWAY!  I immediately shared the story on facebook with a satus update:

"EFF.THAT. I'm sweating just thinking about it."

To which I get the usual responses questioning why this would bother me.  You see, friends, I have a fear of low-flying aircraft.  Most aircraft in general, but the lower they are, the more I sweat.  I have no problem being inside of a plane.  I do not fear flying.  But if I have to, say, walk out on the tarmac and board the plane using one of those step ladders instead of a normal terminal-to-plane-door setup?  Pit stains.

People don't understand this fear.  They think it's irrational.  I don't care.  The lower a plane is, the easier it can crash into the ground, sending fire-y debris flying all over the place.  Let me give you a few examples.

I sometimes drive to work down a two lane country road that splits rice and produce fields.  At the far end of this road, there is a crop dust plane port.  Every morning these bastards are low-flying back and forth over the fields (and the road I am trying to drive on) to dust the crops.  It's like they are taunting me, laughing in my face.  A few months back, one of these planes crashed and the pilot did not survive.  This happened.  In a field not far from the ones I drive by at least 3 times a week.  Too close for comfort friends.

Another recent incident was an SUV that was driving out to a private runway and a plane flying in or out was low enough that it slammed into the SUV.  Granted, I don't make it a habit of driving anywhere near private runways, but still, you get the point.

And then there is this issue from yesterday with the plane LANDING ON THE FREEWAY.  Can you imagine seeing that in your rearview mirror?!?!?  Or being the car behind the plane coming in for an emergency landing?  No.effing.way.  I would probably have had a heart attack or passed out from the panic/anxiety. 

I also don't like the fact that they are so obnoxiously loud.  I think the size + the loud noise makes my heart race even more.  I remember when my brother was going through the police academy, they had a family night for the cadets to invite family to come out and see what they had been doing in the program.  We were standing outside talking afterward and the police chopper did a low fly-by.  I almost shat myself.

And if you know anything about current events and saw the news about the recent space shuttle Endeavor being piggy-backed onto a 747 or some other monstrous plane to be flown from Texas to LA?  They did a low fly lap around downtown Sacramento on their way.  People were outside for miles and miles, on top of freeway overpasses and all that just to catch a glimpse of this disaster.  You know who wasn't out there?  This girl.  The only one left standing after the plane crashed and killed ALL of the innocent bystanders and took out every building in downtown Sacramento...

Idiots

Okay, that last part didn't happen.  But it could have...

Seriously, the people that were sending around pictures of that thing in all its glory afterward, might as well have been sending me a picture of a trantula.  No.Thank.You.  My blood pressure went up looking for pics to post here.

Sooooooo, that's my irrational fear.  Do you have any fears that make complete sense to you, but make others think you are coo-coo for cocoa puffs?

That One Time Jenna Jameson Called me Rude

As a follow up to my earlier post, feast your eyes on this:


You would think being in the porn industry would give you a thicker skin...

That One Time I Was In Bed With Jenna Jameson...

I seem to have failed to mention that I was once in bed with Jenna Jameson.  Luckily, I didn't contract anything....

Anyone remember the show on MTV called "Becoming"?  The show where a star's BIGGEST FAN could send in a video application telling MTV what makes them THE BIGGEST FAN and then the chosen one would get flown to LA for a few days to re-make the video and get a bunch of swag?

Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Well, about ten years ago I was dating Slim Shady's BIGGEST FAN.  I was a huge fan myself, but I don't think I could have pulled off resembling him in the video so I chose not to apply.  Anywho, he applied and listed me as the person to contact if he was chosen (because they like to keep it a secret and surprise the winner).  I got the call one day while I was at work.  I was so excited for him!!  I remembered in a previous episode I had seen that a girl who won got to bring her boyfriend along, so I straight up asked them if I could come along if I paid for my own plane ticket.

They said YES!!

For years and years I searched for this video on youtube and only a few months back did it surface.  It's terrible quality and it's in 2 parts.  The first part is the surpise (that's me in the "dancer" shorts waking him up during the surprise) and the whole first part of the episode where they show him filming all the different scenes (look for my intro around 13:13) and the second part is the video in it's entirety.





It was the most amazing experience, even thought it didn't really happen to me.  I got to hang out behind the scenes for three days and made some awesome friends with the crew.  Later that year we got invited back to LA for a wrap party at a bar with all of the other peeps who got to become their favorite artist.  We thought maybe we would get to go backstage since he was going to be in Sac shortly after we returned home, but no such luck. 

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

Baby, Baby, Baby, Oooooooooh!

I just realized that title could make you think this is a naughty little post...if you're a sicko!  Get your mind out of the gutter! 

In all seriousness....

Justin Bieber is now legal. 

How do you feel about that?  I saw this tweet today:

"Justin Bieber turns 18 today.  Congrats to Selena Gomez, you're no longer a statutory rapist."

I almost spit water on my keyboard and computer.  So funny because it's true...hence, funny.  I hear he sounds a lot more like a man now, but I haven't heard anything from him in a while.  Regardless, I love that little lesbian.

Happy Birthday Biebs!!

Major Letdown

So, I was over reading Shades of Gray and Caroline was talking about her childhood crush, who also happened to be mine.  Good ol' Jonathan Taylor Thomas, or JTT.  I was OBSESSED!!  I shit you not.  Hardcore obsessed. 

Some examples for you:

• I had to buy every single issue of Bop, Big Bopper, Tiger Beat, YM, and any other magazine that has his picture on the cover. 
• I would tear out his centerfold pics and made them into a border around the top of my walls. 
• I watched the Lion King a ridiculous amount of times, and to date it's my favorite Disney movie simply because he was the voice of Simba. 
• I have the timeless classics Man of the House and Tom & Huck on VHS, which I have also watched countless times.  Well, not since DVDs became all the rage and I lost track of my VCR.  Sad face.

and the thing that gave me ultimate fan status...wait for iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit....

• When I got my braces off freshman year and they were ready to make my retainers, they told me I could pick out whatever color I wanted and if I wanted to put a design or picture in the actual retainer, I could bring one in.  I got teal, because teal and purple was the most awesome color combo of the mid-90s (and the colors of my Lion King bedding, obvi) and I gave them a magazine cut-out of JTT's HEAD!!!  I legit had homeboy's dome piece on the roof of my mouth 24/7. 

Yeah, that really happened.  Unfortunately I put it in a napkin while I was eating nachos at a wrestling tournament my brother was in and it got thrown away :(

So while I was reading Caroline's blog and saw that he had gone from this:


Yummy

 To this:

Yucky

I was extremely disappointed and had to come over here and write this blog immediately.  Honestly though, when I just googled images of JTT, I was taken back to sitting on my twin bed staring up and the amazing border of his pics around my room.  Sigh...

Friday Funny: From My Honey

Unlike me, JB has the day off today and was up this morning to make me breakfast and coffee before I left for work.  He usually leaves before me, so breakfast together on a weekday is unheard of in our household.  As we were sitting at the table eating our breakfast and watching the local morning show, a commercial came on for TJ Maxx and Marshall's.  It's a Christmas commercial that shows a bunch of people singing and doing choreography around a mall telling you why it's better to go to their stores than the mall.  It's pretty cheesy.  As the commercial is running, this comes out of JB's mouth:

"If I wasn't gay, I would probably be good at that."

As we both sat there and processed what he just said, and realize it at the same time, he says:

"I think that came out wrong.  I meant the opposite of that."

We.Were.Dying!!!  Laughing, crying, pounding the table, stomping our feet, DYING.

I'm pretty sure I have evidence from last year's Pigeons Christmas card to substantiate his first claim.  What do you think?

Merry Christmas Eve-Eve everyone!!!

Friday Funny - TMI Edition

This is a conversation had today between me and a friend over IM.  I wouldn't be surprised if I lost a few readers over this, but I was basically ROTFL so I need to share:

Me: I don't like it


Me: and I feel bloated


F: TMI


Me: I ate beach hut and chips for lunch

Me: so much salt



F: You realize I am not your husband right?



Me: and processed white bread



F: keep some things to yourself



Me: BFF



F: If that is what BFF means I think we can go ahead and end it

F: I don't tell you about how I had buffalo wild wings for lunch and my tummy is rumblin



Me: but I wouldn't care if you did

Me: cuz I am all in



F: Well in that case

F: I was crankin on the toilet, holy smokes. It was like a rainstorm with thunder and liquid spraying everywhere

F: Had to cough every time the thunder came so the guy in the next stall wouldn't have to hear it

F: Think I got some on my pants

F: Burned like fire coming out too

F :Man oh man

F: Had to check to see if there was smoke

F: There wasn't, don't worry



Me: OMG I am dying right now



F: You should have seen me on the toilet



Me: this is awesome!



F: Sweating all over the place



Me: I want to post this on my blog



F: Please do

F: Still BFFs


F: ?

 
Me: always

Dammit, I Love My Family

For Labor Day weekend, JB and I headed to SF for a Giants game, a hike, and some touristy stuff, but since I suck at taking pics, I can't show you any of that.  Monday, on our way home, we stopped at my Aunt's house for a family BBQ in celebration of my grandma's 84th birthday. 

My dad and his 4 siblings all took family pics with their mom while the cousins were all inside shooting the shiz.  Imagine our surprise when we looked out the window to find this:


Swinging Granny



4-wheelin' Granny

Extreme Planking Granny

Mind you, this was all her kids' doing.  Needless to say, when they came inside, we assured them that they should now know what to expect in their old age.

Yeah, my family is pretty freaking awesome.

Jason Bateman is Stalking Me

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I mean, check this guy out:

Yummy.

Okay, so if you haven't already realized the odds of this actually happening are very slim, I guess I can explain a little more, but it only gets weirder. 

So, somehow we missed the boat on Arrested Development and are now catching up on all 53 episodes on Netflix.

We usually watch about 5 episodes each night since they are so short and we have a limited amount of time in the evenings.  As usual, we sat down after dinner last night to watch a few episodes before bed and then I had crazy dreams!  Bear with me as I explain because my dreams are very vivid, but sometimes when I try to explain them they turn into run-on sentences.

So, I was still living at my parents' old house, the one I grew up in, and I knew that someone was stalking me because they would call and text me with pictures of things I was doing at that very moment.  Jason Bateman, I think was the guy I hired to help me find out who it was that was stalking me.  At some point there grew a romantic connection and then because of a phone call or picture I recieved I pieced together that it was him who was recording and stalking me.  I didn't really know how to feel about this, since obviously I was interested in him in the dream, but I was highly disturbed by it and even moreso when I realized there were cameras placed all over my house and car.  I would find them and unplug their power source and turn the camera around so it was facing the wall, but they had a backup source of power and were being operated by remote controls and I couldn't get them to shut off or anything and I was so creeped out.

Jason Bateman and I got in this huge fight when I called him out for being my stalker and then he stormed out and flew off to Europe or something.  After he left I realized how strong my feelings had grown for him and I took off to the airport to find him in Europe and tell him....

Moral of the story is, no more Arrested Development before bed.  Happy Monday!

Oh No She Dih-int!

Oh, but I did.



I like to do this thing where I keep it a secret when I am planning a big change with my hair and surprise everyone, including JB.  I'm not sure why I do this, but I do.  Now you are part of that.  SURPRISE!! 

Did you notice:

• My camera skills are way slightly better than JB's
• I should have used air quotes when I said "team of stylists" because let's be honest, I don't really have a team of stylists.  I have my bestie and her boss.
• My husband is hilarious (leave him comments about his haircut, he will love it, I'm sure)

4 Weeks To Go, Bootcamp Update, and Clean Eating Extravaganza!

Let's see if I can throw anything else into this post, shall we?

I can't even believe there are less than 4 weeks until our wedding! That is so crazy to me!! I can't wait to be surrounded by our friends and family and so much love! I am so excited to see how all of the details come together. More than anything, I am hoping to be able to surrender to the day and not let myself get worked up over any hiccups that may arise. Those that know me know this is a big challenge.

Also, since the end of January I have been working on my fitness in a big way. I have been purchasing different deals at several fitness facilities and working out anywhere from 3-5 times a week. The eating in our house is already pretty clean, aside from the occasional shared bottle of wine or carton of ice cream, but I have reached a plateau which means I need to clean it up a bit more.

A few months back, JB decided to try to follow the Paleo way of eating. Basically, you eat only what people in paleolithic times would have access to. No dairy, processed sugar, legumes, or grains. It focuses on fruits, veggies, lean meats, and nuts (PS, peanuts are a legume, not a nut. This makes me sad. See why here.). As it is, we only eat lean meats (fish, chicken, ground turkey), brown rice and wheat pasta, and fruits/veggies for the most part, so this isn't a huge change for us like it might be for others. Back when he decided to do it the first time, I wasn't completely on-board. I was still having my wheat toast in the morning and my greek yogurt for a snack. It really helped to jump start the change in my body with the workouts and I am hoping that it will help push me past this stupid plateau.

Monday I bought the book, Everyday Paleo, by Sarah Fragoso. It has quick and easy recipes with each having just a few different ingredients (I don't know about you, but if there are more than like 5 or 6 ingredients and zillion steps, I pass that recipe right up.), a 30 day meal plan including the shopping lists you will need for each week, and workouts for everyone from beginners to pros. It is very family friendly and helps you introduce your kids to a paleo lifestyle too. I have already tried a couple of the recipes and they are delicious!!

The most important component of eating like this is planning ahead.  We started a menu board so shopping for the week's dinners is easy and I put the page numbers of the recipes next to them so JB can start dinner before I get home if he wants to.  I also hard boiled a dozen eggs to grab for breakfast or snacks and pre-cut some veggies for snacks as well.  Of course I am going to have to derail for my bachelorette party this weekend, but I will be back on track Monday morning.

Bootcamp is currently in the 5th week, which means after this week, I only have one more to go! I was really hoping to get after it and work out 5 days a week and sometimes twice a day, but I hit a major slump during this bootcamp for some reason. I have not been feeling it. I think 6 weeks is too long for me now. I am so used to changing things up every 4 weeks that this is just taking forever.  It could also be that I am just feeling stressed and overwhelmed with everything to get done before the wedding, who knows?

The camp is held outside at a local park.  We started with a lot of women and it has dwindled week by week to a comfortable small group size.  Each workout is an hour long and we use sand bags and resistance bands and do a lot of body weight exercises for our workouts.  The workouts are mostly like circuit training, but somedays they throw in yoga.  We had to run a timed mile and I came in at 8:32.  I was the first one to finish!  I'm not a distance runner, so for me, I will take 8:32.  My 5K pace is usually around 10:00.  We were supposed to run it again to see if we could beat our previous time, but I think I missed the day they did it again because I came a different day that week.  I don't really think I could have beaten that time anyway.

How was that for a super jumbled, word-vomit post?  And PS, WTF is going on with Blogger lately?  I can't leave comments on people's blogs and the followers are missing.  Stupid.

Happy Gang Fight!

Back when The original "Friday" video came out, everyone was highly annoyed by it, including me.  A friend of mine sent this to me shortly after and I died watching it.  Now every Friday is referred to as "gang fight" instead.  Enjoy!

It Was Acceptable In The 80s

Happy Friday all!  I thought I would give you a little picture recap of the 30th birthday celebration for one of my dearest friends (and bridesmaid).  She and another friend of ours, who have been friends with each other for a very long time, wanted to celebrate their 30th birthdays with an 80's themed roller skating party.  Enjoy!

And now I will leave you with the random video that inspired the post title:



Happy Friday!

Peanut Butter is the New Ranch

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a ranch dressing fiend fanatic.  I like to consider myself a ranch connoisseur (yeah, I had to spell check that, so what?).  I don't keep it in the house.  Bottled ranch is gross, for one.  If the bottled stuff was as good as say the stuff at Red Robin or Round Table, I would be in deep, deep trouble.  My friends joke that if I ever get pregnant, I will have an IV ranch drip and a rolling IV hanger with me at all times.  Shit, why wait for pregnancy, amiright?  Hook.Me.Up.

(A pic my bro drew of my prego SIL with a ranch IV)

But seriously, I eat certain foods solely because they are a vehicle for ranch dressing.  Okay, I'm not saying that pizza and french fries and fresh veggies aren't delicious all by themselves, but I wouldn't eat them nearly as much if they didn't make the perfect dipping items for ranch.  It's quite ridiculous to hear me order lunch at BJ's Brewery.

"Yeah, I'll have the turkey club with ranch instead of blue cheese, with fries and the house salad with ranch, and a side of ranch.  K thanks."

So, about 6 months ago we started frequenting the local Cold Stone ice cream shop.  For some reason the chocolate ice cream with a scoop of peanut butter and a brownie mixed in sounded so delicious.  Big mistake.  Huge.  It was soooooooooo NOM!  Hence the frequenting that ensued.  It got pretty bad.  But then I noticed that I was way more into peanut butter than ever before.  I really look forward to my breakfast each morning; slice of wheat toast with a bit of honey and peanut butter with sliced banana on it.  The people at work comment on my kindergarten breakfast.  Whatever.  It's delicious AND nutritious.  Bite me.

But then....

Peanut butter was working it's way into other meals of the day.  Snack time was celery with PB or apples with PB or bananas with PB, dessert (instead of the ice cream) was a dab of PB on a semi sweet chocolate chip...or ten.  If I get ice cream at all anymore it has to consist of chocolate and peanut butter.  And now I am turning into a peanut butter snob!  All I eat on the regular is this:

It makes me feel less terrible about eating so much peanut butter.  Because, you know, it's smart.  And better for you because it has Omega 3s and less sugar.  I just tell myself that since the fats are good fats, it's okay.  Sadly, there are no good fats in ranch.  But then the little single servings of ice cream were on sale at the store for $1 and they had reese's PB cup in vanilla with a PB ribbon.  Not good peanut butter.  Such a shame, but good because then I didn't want to eat a ton of it.

That's my random Tuesday rant.  I have been thinking about writing this blog for like, a week.  Because telling you all that peanut butter is the new ranch is so important and all...

The Double-Edged Sword That Is Spring

Who doesn't love Spring?  Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, love is in the air, and summer is just over the horizon.  Back when Myspace existed and everyone used to fill out those worthless, time-killing surveys and one of the questions was "What's your favorite season?"  my answer would always be Spring.  And I meant it.  I mean it.  Where I live Spring is basically a blink in the seasons.  We usually go from Winter to Summer, so I have learned to cherish Spring and all its glory.

But then...

Spring means allergies (thanks Zyrtec, Claritin - you suck).  It also means that the weather is often bi-polar (not to be confused with bi-winning) and you usually have to wear layers to keep you warm in the morning that you can then peel off after lunch when it's 65+ degrees outside.  And with those blooming flowers comes these:

and these:

And aside from the flying crazies, there are these:

I seriously just started sweating and experiencing elevated heart rates googling pictures of spiders/jumping spiders.  NIGHTMARE!!!  And....now I have a headache.  Damn you, adrenaline.

I have a really entertaining story about one of those bastard jumping spiders being in my car once.  It's not the same when it's not animated in person, but let's just summarize by saying I was more than willing to leave my car on the side of the freeway (since I made my BF at the time come out to me to help me find and kill it to no avail).  Not to mention I nearly wrecked my car by trying to get as far away from it as possible and it was right above/in front of my head/face while I was driving.  I seriously stuffed the place between the top of my car and the windshield with tissue, since this is where it emerged from on both sides of the car, wore gloves while I was driving around for the next few weeks, and then kept them handy in the car in case I needed to kill the thing with my bare hands.  Ugh.

And don't even get me started on the wasps. 

I lived in this awesome apartment complex about 5 years ago.  I had the greatest roommate situation, since she was a flight attendant and not home much, and then fun to hang with when she was home.  We had dual master suites and an awesome, big, covered patio.  Everything was picturesque when we moved in in October.  Then Spring came around and we found out that the place was infested with paper wasps due to the empty fields and lots that surrounded the complex. 

When I say infested, I shit you not, my friends.

I'm talking hundreds, if not thousands, flying through the air from sun up to sun down.  Since we lived on the second floor, I had to get to the stairs, up the stairs, unlock the door and get in the house.  By the time I locked the door behind me, I was shaking.  There were a few times I sat in my car for a good 30 minutes before I could work up the nerve to attempt getting out of my car.  I was paralyzed with fear.  The management had people come out and knock down the nests and spray, but there was no residual effect from the spray, so it had to be contact kill or nothing.  It sucked so bad.  I started leaving the house before the sun came up and doing what I could to avoid coming home before sunset.  I definitely had a few panic attacks during the Spring/Summer months there.

I'm sure it was quite comical to someone who happened to catch me trying to leave or enter my house.  I thought I would minimize my chances of getting bitten (because wasps don't sting like bees and die, they just bite repeatedly) by covering myself from head to toe.  100 degrees outside and I have pants and a hoodie on to get to/from my car.  So ridiculous.  Not to mention I would squeal or scream anytime I heard one of them buzz my ear or fly directly in front of my line of sight.

After we found out from management that they were in fact paper wasps, I read up on how to get rid of them or keep them at bay.  Supposedly they are very passive unless you attack their nests, which happened to line the eves of our building.  No big deal.  I also found out that they only respond to certain hormones as far as drawing them in or keeping them at bay, so any traps we used had to contain the right stuff for paper wasps.  We found that the wasp spray from Home Depot with the 40ft stream worked well and would not open the door unless we were armed with a can.  It also had some risidual effect so it kept them at bay for a few days at a time.  We couldn't use our awesome back patio for summer BBQs either because we would be swarmed.  So lame.

So, yeah.  About Spring...

It's basically the season of Breezy vs. Nature.  Breezy wins, my friends.  Breezy wins.

Sloppy Seconds

In a seemingly typical trip to the store on Friday evening, JB was telling me about this guy he knows who was a semi-pro or pro golfer or something and had made quite a bit of money doing so and had also played a lot of celebrity golf tournaments. Through these different events, he ended up becoming good friends with Justin Timberlake. Not "good friends", but actually good friends to the point where they talk at least once a week or so. Then this convo transpired:

Me: He know's Timberlake? You know, I have a 30th birthday this year, maybe he can come perform.

JB: Yeah, I wonder who he's bangin' right now? I'm sure she's hot.

Me: Or you can just ask for Jessica Biel's number.

JB: Yeah, I wouldn't mind taking Timberlake's sloppy seconds.

Me:  Word.

He's with me, ladies. He's all mine.

BFF

I am sitting here going through all of my old Myspace blogs while JB watches basketball. As I am reading through them, this transpires:

JB: Just think, back then you didn't even know how happy you were going to be someday.
Me: I KNOW! I do have some pretty awesome friends though.
JB: Who's your best friend?
Me: You are.
JB: *smiles* "We're BFF."

Damn skippy.